“I hate listening to my own voice” is a comment I hear regularly when mentoring coaches who are listening to their coaching session recordings played back.
Personally, I’ve always enjoyed talking and expressing myself - sometimes a little too much. At a workplace karaoke party years ago, I was prompted by a colleague, “Lisa, you need to give other people a chance on the microphone.” Full transparency, there was champagne involved and that’s partly to blame, but how embarrassing to realise I was hogging the mic?
That and many moments like it have taught me something I carry into my work as a Coach and Facilitator: the importance of sharing the air time.
Do you notice how awful it feels when one person dominates a conversation, speaking at everyone else without pause? It’s not just unproductive; it can feel distressing, draining, and make others want to disengage. When someone doesn’t recognise the importance of sharing the space, the opportunity for real dialogue and connection is lost.
A mentor once gave me a simple tool I still use today: W.A.I.T. — Why Am I Talking?
It’s a great reminder that whether you’re someone who talks too much (like I can), or someone who talks too little because you hate hearing the sound of your own voice, the magic happens when we hear from everyone.
Here are a couple of ways to create more balanced conversations:
- If you’re naturally talkative, pause and remember to W.A.I.T. before jumping in.
- If you’re quieter, look for moments to share or ask a question to contribute.
- If you’re facilitating or hosting, invite quieter voices in with an open question.
Ultimately, conversations are richer when every voice is heard.
What about you? Is this something you are actively working on? And how do you create space for all voices in your conversations or meetings?
